The Path of Healing the Healer

I use the word healer in this loosely, I believe a healer is a strong space holder for the client to heal within themselves. I use the word Shamanic because I don't yet know another word, but it's a well understood word.

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Your healer has to have gone to the depths of life and beyond to be able to support. I see now why it takes many many years to be able to work as a Shamanic Practitioner with a humble and deep wisdom, with integrity.

A number of people often say to me, Eva you are so calm you don't need much healing.

I think inwardly, little do you know my many layers within. Haha. But what they see is surface level. Many people have blocked their inner senses, inner knowing, and are too busy in life.

As a person who loves learning the path of healing and anatomy. Ive always known we have to heal ourselves first. I began this path on a Shamanic Consciousness course with Brian Bates. I'd read his book Way of Wyrd and I had a strange inner knowing that identified with what Brian was writing about. Then I found his course as Brighton Uni. I joined it within weeks, as if the door was left open for me.

This healing path I am learning about is ongoing. I thought I was pretty secure in myself for years, but looking back now I see how naive that inner security was.

To walk this path of healing I have had to face many more demons. At that point I'd barely faced one. I realise that you can't know a demon is around the corner sometimes it's a surprise but those surprises like rites of passage peel away more of your layers of self.

You could say I faced many, I had ME, Chronic Fatigue as a teenager. Which took me to bed each winter for three years of that time. I suffered terrible shyness as a child, painfully so.

As I became an adult I was a young mum, my parents divorced and my dad made friends with the bottle.

All these things I've found strength in overcoming, and they've all been part of making me who I am. If you'd told me at 16 I'd be standing in front of 100 people facilitating a wedding at age 40 I'd have run away. Haha.

As I've begun working as a Shamanic Practitioner, the situations and experiences I find myself in you couldnt make up.

Im finding the deeper you tread this path the deeper your own healing and internal transformations have to be. I've been to places inside myself recently I never knew I needed to visit.

Ive been deep into Macha's cave, metaphorically, and opened what feels like deep stuff. I touched the veil there for a moment. Then I stepped out over the bones with Tclachta not even seeing where I was as I walked over those bones. To emerge onto a land of frost and winter sunlight. Feeling the Caileach in the air, busy weaving life and taking it. I felt she gifted me a new spark of life for touching the dark.

Feeling like a snake must when its shed a skin. I felt somewhat anew, but with a knowing that stillness is needed.

Metaphorically I have been to these places, and physically my body had to stop whilst I went there. It was hard.

This year has been like no other when it comes to self healing. You have to go and lay in the lower world, you have to surrender and allow an inner endurance. Trust that with surrender you'll emerge. Sometimes all the self care in the world isn't enough, and your spirit takes you there itself. And sometimes one visit isn't enough, but you'll go there again and again.

You see, I always knew as a healing practitioner I needed to experience things, I knew I needed to experiences the lower realms to visit places deep within to enable me to understand for my clients. But that was theory and to an extent I thought I had. I could see spirit showing me experiences that then came up in clients.

To be a healer we have to have experienced so much within ourselves. Healing the Healer seems to be lifetimes. Imagine that! Lifetimes of healing the healer before they can hold space with true understanding and wisdom to hold space for others to heal within.

To visit all the realms, the spirit world, the light, the dark.

Its real.

Its how you choose to see life that changes you too.

I'm learning too that sometimes life isn't what we think we see and feel, sometimes others see more and we have to open to that too.

It is so important to walk through life with the right allies and friends around us.

To be a healer we need integrity, trust, love, boundaries, and a willingness to leap into faith.

I'll leave you with a quote from a film (Troll a cheesy one on Netflix but the quotes good)...

'To see you first must believe'

*photo beautiful frosted feather I found as I emerged from that cave this week.

Huge love respect and blessings to all my teachers 🙏